Today marks six months since my cat Toastie tragically passed away. So naturally, I’ve been reflecting on him and his lasting impact on my life.

Grief is no longer with me every day. I can go weeks feeling OK. Of course, I will still think of him, but doing so doesn’t make me sad.

But then, out of nowhere, grief returns. Sometimes, there is a trigger; sometimes, there is not.

Even six months on, grief still has enough power over me to arrive unannounced and debilitate me for days.

However, this grieving process has given me many insights into life, loss, and the impact animals have on us.

Here are 5 of the biggest life lessons I’ve gained from losing my pet cat:

1. Pet grief is totally valid (no matter what society says)

When you see your pet as a child, losing them feels like losing a limb. There is no other way to describe it.

The pain you feel is very real. But most people, especially those who don’t have pets, won’t understand this.

Pet grief, a type of disenfranchised grief, is rarely talked about. When you think about it, this doesn’t make any sense, considering millions of people have loved and lost a pet at some point.

But just because people don’t talk about it doesn’t mean it is not valid.

Studies have found that you can grieve your pet as much as (or more than) a human family member.

Like all types of grief, pet grief is incredibly personal. There is no set time that it will take for you to heal.

So, just like you wouldn’t pretend you’re not grieving the loss of a parent, don’t deny your feelings about your pet’s passing.

2. The pain of pet loss is unavoidable

A hard truth to accept is that the older we get, the more loss we will experience.

While we cannot avoid this inevitable suffering, we can prepare for it by ensuring we have the right “tools” under our belts.

Losing Toastie made me realize I am fairly well-equipped to deal with loss. That doesn’t mean it made things easier. But it allowed me to deal with my pain in a healthy way and not spiral into full-blown depression.

There are so many unhealthy ways to deal with pet grief that involve repressing your feelings. But these things are only distractions that prolong the grieving period.

I’m incredibly grateful for my spiritual practices, which helped me sit with and process the pain of losing Toastie.

If you struggle to accept and process your feelings around your pet passing away, this could be a sign that you need to work on building your ‘grief toolbox.’

This is crucial because your furry friend was likely not the first loved one you’ve lost, and it surely won’t be the last.

3. We can still connect with our pets after death

But not in the way we may think.

You might not see or hear your deceased pet literally. But if you are present, aware, and open enough, you WILL see signs that they are still around.

Since Toastie died, he has connected with me in many ways.

One of the first signs of connection was the sudden presence of butterflies – many of them!

I suddenly started seeing them everywhere, and when I looked into what they symbolize, it made sense.

Butterflies represent transformation, hope, and rebirth.

Erika Buenaflor, M.A., author of Animal Medicine, writes that “seeing a butterfly is a sign that positive change is transpiring, and brave forces are watching over you.”

So, when a butterfly appears after the loss of a loved one, it could be that they’re trying to send you this message and encourage you not to resist the transformation that their death brings.

I also saw Toastie in my dreams several times. Sometimes, they felt so real that I felt like he was visiting me through the dream world.

There are so many other ways I’ve felt Toastie’s presence over the last six months – too many to discuss in this article.

4. Turning our pain into purpose is how we heal

I’ve always believed that every deep connection we make in life is for a reason. But we often only learn the reason after that someone has gone.

You might uncover your pet’s ‘purpose’ sometime after their passing. It’s usually something you start to understand once the initial painful period passes.

Once you understand your animal’s purpose, it becomes a pivotal moment in your grieving journey.

Why?

Because it allows you to turn your pain into purpose.

Toastie was the first kitten I ever raised. He taught me so much of what I know now and inspired me to help many other cats.

So, the way I’ve been able to turn my pain into purpose is by ensuring his legacy lives on through my actions and words.

5. Our time with our pets is so short

The other day, I came across this beautiful quote, and it made me think…

“Animals might be just a small part of our lives, but to them, we are their whole life.”

Even if we’re lucky enough to have our pets around until they die of old age, they are still just a chapter in our lives—one that lasts 5, 10, or 15 years.

Our lives existed before they came along and will continue to do so after they have gone.

But to our pets, we are their entire life. We are by far the most (and often only) significant person in their life, so how we treat them determines how their life is.

In the grand scheme of things, we likely won’t remember that time they peed on the bed or scratched the couch.

But…

They might remember how we shouted at them because of it.

So what’s the lesson I’m trying to explain?

Our animals are here for just a short time. Shower them with as much love, kindness, and compassion as possible.

That way, when they pass away, you’ll know they experienced unconditional love.

Final thoughts

Lastly, Toastie’s death reminded me how important it is to allow love into your life. While love can be the most painful thing in the world, it is also the most beautiful.

Loving others (whether humans or animals) makes us feel alive. So, while it can be tempting to close your heart to other animals after your pet dies, you’re only preventing yourself from feeling love again.

Welcoming another furry friend into your home does not mean you’ve replaced your pet. Instead, by opening your heart to another animal in need, you’re honoring their memory.

Have you lost a beloved furry friend? What were the lessons or takeaways you gained?

Comment below to let me know 💕